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Joke of the Day

"What do ateists wear on their necks as an indication of their commitment to the atheism? Head."

"I'd probably be broke by now if there was a website where you could pay to flirt with lobsters"

"And the Lord said unto John.. ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came fifth and won a toaster."

"What's that, turkey? GOBBLE GOBBLE Timmy fell in a well? GOBBLE GOBBLE [breaks turkey's neck] no time for your riddles, in the oven you go"

"Did I tell you I'm joining a gym in Gainesborough? Because I'm all about those gains bro"

"Did you know Zimbabwe loves the rapper 50 Cent? Or as he's known there, 400 billion dollars."

"Q: What do you call a girl with only one leg? A: Eileen"

"There were tons of reddit admins responsible for today's commotion. But not many of them."

"Women call me ugly until they hear how much money I make. Then they call me ugly *and* poor."

"How does a one liner hurt its readers? With its punchline"