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Joke of the Day

"Finding a date on the internet is so much easier than real life because how are they supposed to know that's not your Ferrari?"

"Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?"

"Anal sex is like broccoli If you're forced to have it as a kid, yo won't enjoy it as an adult."

"""sir, can i ask why you're smoking TWO huge blunts?"" ""officer, I'm..."" *turns to camera* ""double jointed"" *cop starts breakdancing*"

"People ask me to do things months in advance and I'm like, WOW, how does it feel not to expect you might die by freak accident at any time?"

"I met a dyslexic woman at a bar last night... I took her home and she ended up cooking my sock."

"What is a feminist's least favourite Maths topic? Trigger-nometry."

"Hitler arrives at the Pearly Gates... ...and says to St Peter, ""Sorry about the whole Jew thing."" St Peter replies, ""You did your best."""

"Some friends of mine had a baby. They didn't want to know what sex it was, instead they just preferred to wait, and see how much it earned."

"West Virginians are like burgers. They're always inbred."