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Joke of the Day
"Anal sex is like broccoli If you're forced to have it as a kid, yo won't enjoy it as an adult."
Next Joke
"What does having sex with a hooker and bungee jumping have in common? If the rubber brakes, you're screwed."
"I have a very particular set of skills, skills I acquired over a long career. Skills that - ugh hold on *covers phone* MOM I'M ON THE PHONE!"
"I wonder if people with eye patches thought it was all fun and games."
"It's impossible to think about uptown funk without getting it stuck in your head... Don't believe me? Just watch!"
"Poured Tresemme on a spider in the shower & scooted him down the drain, he reemerged w/ voluminous hair & screamed at me in a French accent"
"I've just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she's moving during sex."
"What's the most confusing holiday in the hood? Father's day."
"Worrying over my viagra use Keeps me up most nights"
"Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog? He was told to get a long little doggy..."