46649

Joke of the Day

"Why did God give women yeast infections? So they would have to know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt too."

"Guess what? Chicken butt."

"Got caught stealing a utensil set earlier... I was a whisker away."

"Mothers, out of the 300 guys you're friends with on Facebook, I can guarantee not even 1 of them wants to see a picture of your baby."

"A Roman soldier meets another soldier on the road ""Excuse me"" the first soldier asks ""have you crossed Jesus anywhere, by any chance?"""

"Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints? He couldn't decide what font to use."

"The lady helping my wife design a dining room table handed me a note reading ""blink if you're being held against your will"""

"What do you call five black cars that all crash into each other? A three car pile-up."

"What is worse than ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants"

"My boss is basically Ursula from The Little Mermaid. Deceitful, selfish, conniving, wears too much make up, is an octopus."