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Joke of the Day

"Notice: Due to overwhelming political pressure, Cracker Barrel will now be known as Caucasian Barrel."

"[texting] WIFE: need to talk when u get home ME: about what WIFE: too much to text just wait till u get home ME: *never goes home*"

"Why shouldn't you eat meat from pot smoking cows? Because the steaks are too high."

"What do you call a pokemon that's part train? A Pikachoochoo."

"Interviewer: Your resume only has ""Mad"" under ""Skills"" Me: Yeah boyee Interviewer: *tears up* You're just what we need. Welcome to Subway."

"If a fat person has a fully functioning penis... If a fat person has a fully functioning penis, does that make them a sperm whale?"

"If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like ""I can't even hear you bear"""

"If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are."

"I m married a girl with acute angina... After a couple of kids it was gone."

"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana"