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Joke of the Day

"Notice: Due to overwhelming political pressure, Cracker Barrel will now be known as Caucasian Barrel."

"There is a new drink at my bar. It's called a Sandy. It's basically a watered down Manhattan."

"Why is history called His story? Because it's written by the Victors, not the Victorias."

"Yo mamma is so ugly when she tried to join an ugly contest they said, ""Sorry, no professionals."""

"Relax. If you didn't want me knocking it over, why the hell did you write ""tip jar"" on it? Just for that, I'm taking my 15 cents back."

"You're so fat, you could sell shade."

"My brother took being sent to prison really badly. He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone. That was the last time we played monopoly."

"In a democracy, it's your vote that counts... ...and in feudalism, it's your Count that votes."

"What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese? A Wurst-Kase Scenario"

"""love is the most powerful force in the universe"" wrong! huge explosions are"