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Joke of the Day

"You shouldn't legally be allowed to buy Cool Ranch Doritos unless you pay for it with change while stoned at a gas station"

"Apparently, I've got Rationalitis. I wouldn't know if it weren't for the check-up; it's asymptotic."

"It's a good thing my new Thai girlfriend doesn't have an issue with small penises. I just wish she didnt have one."

"I accidentally took an extra step when I reached the top of the stairs and now I'm in a marching band."

"""How much for this toaster?"" ""An arm & a leg."" ""How about a leg & 2 fingers?"" ""A leg & 3 fingers."" ""Deal!"" - Cannibal Pawn Stars"

"My friend told this great lumberjack joke the other day. But no one was around to hear it..."

"What do you call a Mexican with a broken-down car? Joaquin."

"The best sex is like an old saloon. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear."

"I was makin out with a cute girl but it got ruined when she ran her hand up my leg and squeezed all the spaghetti out of my pocket"

"What did the ISIS fighter say when he went to bomb the Hawaiian cafe? ALOHA SNACKBAR"