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Joke of the Day

"I was makin out with a cute girl but it got ruined when she ran her hand up my leg and squeezed all the spaghetti out of my pocket"

"What's the difference between a fridge and a woman? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out"

"Two strangers are introduced ""you have such a lovely name"" ""thanks, I got it for my birthday"""

"What's the difference between Madonna and a bowling ball ? You can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball."

"Did you ever notice how men always leave the toilet seat up? THAT'S THE JOKE."

"What do you call an expert in psychedelics? A trip advisor."

"Why was the Shire so shocked when Bilbo threw himself and Sam into Mt. Doom? They were the first citizens they ever lost to a Mordor-suicide like that."

"{Text} Me: Come home soon baby, I'm dressed like Leia.. Him: So turned on, I am.. Me: If you show up dressed like Yoda it's not happening"

"How many Hilary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None- they prefer to be kept in the dark"

"A Chicken and an Egg are laying in bed together. The chicken takes an unsatisfied drag on her cigarette and says ""Well. I guess we answered that question."""