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Joke of the Day

"Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.' We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'"

"Why is one side of the V always longer than the other when geese are flying south for the winter ? It's because there are more geese on that side."

"When the grammar nazi learned his friend had less than 6 months to live. *fewer"

"What do you call the sweat between two rednecks making love? Relative humidity."

"How did Timmy dodge the oncoming car? He didn't"

"As soon as he clicked on the title... ...he realized that someone was narrating him while he was browsing reddit. He chuckled and left an upvote, ready to read some more reposted jokes."

"BEST PICK UP LINE: I wasn't looking at your boobs, I was staring into your heart...no, I lied , your boobs are awesome."

"What is a group of endermen called? A basketball team"

"Yo mamma's so fat when she went on vacation, the locals correctly identified her as an American"

"So I went to the doctor, and he told me to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" I asked. ""Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."""