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Joke of the Day

"What is a group of endermen called? A basketball team"

"I got my foot in the door, my head in the game, and my ass in gear. I'm one motivational tape away from a hospital admission."

"A baby seal walks into a club... and is escorted outside due to being underage. (Sorry if this is a repost, I've never seen this joke here before.)"

"Bill Gates is donating $10Billion to help children everywhere get vaccinations. ...But you know they're just gonna spend it on booze."

"Let's begin by pushing a Nickleback album onto every ISIS phone."

"Forgot I started my stopwatch. It's now been 139:27.05 since I wondered how long it takes me to run five miles."

"What's the most sensitive part of a man's body when masturbating? His ears."

"Why did the bike fall over? It was ""two"" tired."

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Adolf Hitler? Michael Phelps can actually finish a race!"

"Who else takes their phone out when you're in public by yourself, just so you don't look like some idiot with no friends."