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Joke of the Day
"Why don't Africans go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again."
Next Joke
"i told this girl at the bar that im kinda popular on twitter and she sighed for 17 minutes straight the bartender timed it"
"TIL 5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions."
"I just saw a guy running a race and masturbating at the same time. I wonder what place he'll come in."
"Sorry you didn't win Best Picture, ""Mad Max: Fury Road,"" but if Trump wins the election, you can re-submit for ""Best Documentary."""
"What has 4 wheels and flies? /u/IDrewTheDuckBlue's car. [Credit.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3ez4sp/just_drove_from_california_to_illinois_with_a_fly/)"
"did you hear about the new tv crime drama? Criminal Mastermimes: the Silent Killers"
"My check engine light just turned on. I opened up the hood and the engine is still there. Thankfully everything is fine, but I was worried for a minute."
"dad u make dolphin noises mom u make pinacolada noises grandma u put on this sailboat costume. I told this girl on skype im 16/surfer/hawaii"
"There's no worse feeling than lying next to the person you love and they don't know you love them. Or that you're in their house again."