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Joke of the Day

"Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy."

"What happened to the astronaut who was knocked out? He saw stars."

"Scrabble is adding 5,000 new words including ""chillax"" and ""selfie."" So kids, there's never been a better time to challenge your grandparents to a game of Scrabble."

"""At least you're going to get a lot of material out of this,"" is comedian-speak for, ""Sorry about your life, dude."""

"I copied my Match.com bio from a used car website. - White. - Good condition. - Reliable. - Cheap. - Some evidence of rear end damage."

"Sometimes it's fun to pretend that all old people are part of a 'who can take the most steps over the shortest distance' contest"

"Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team."

"Q: What is a blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: She's trying to hold on to a thought."

"What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies!"

"What's a Brooklyn contractors favorite dance? Dewalts"