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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear a joke about toilet paper? Nevermind... it's tearable."

"I'm no different than the average working guy. I have two arms, two legs and 4.2 billion dollars. ~ Donald Trump"

"""Just how serious are you about keeping me as a customer?"" *slides hand across table to take a second promotional pen"

"""Well, my chocolate is so good I could sell it in an obnoxious prism shape."" Bob Toblerone to rival chocolate manufacturer."

"Where do pedophiles get the wedding rings? They go to Jared."

"I'll have whatever Steve Buscemi isn't having."

"Don't lose the girl of your life, for the hoe of the night."

"In hell, the thermostat is guarded by a bunch of dads."

"Just ate a bag of jelly beans. Did you know if you eat a pineapple, a coconut, and a black one together, it tastes like pina colada asphalt?"

"New camouflaged condoms! She'll never see you coming again."