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Joke of the Day

"College guy: How do you like it? Me: Salty...of course *slaps down $20 CG: We'll take two pretzels with salt ~Get outta the gutter pervs"

"Did you hear about them computer geeks, who were also miners by trade, who sang a cover of that Motorhead song? They called it The Acer Spades."

"The 3 seasons of Texas! Summer, cold summer, & Football."

"I remember Pandora back when it was called your dad trying to find a song he liked on a road trip."

"Two fish are in a tank. . . One turns to the other and asks **""How do you drive this thing?""**"

"""I'm going to be a little bit late"" -people that are going to be very late"

"When two gay men get married, whose parents pay for the wedding? Neither, because they're both ashamed of their children's disgusting and sinful lifestyle choices."

"My Father was a brick layer before he was sent to prison. To this day he still isn't a free mason."

"*co-worker approaching elevator* *I try to hit ""close door"" button* *I miss, hit ""open door""* Co-worker: thanks for holding it Me: Of course"

"What's the difference between a coal mining company and catholic priests? A coal mining company puts miners in shafts."