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Joke of the Day

"What's the best thing from New York City? The train to Boston"

"What mom loves... Son: Mom, why is my cousin's name rose? Mom: Well son, your aunt really loves flowers! Son: Mom, what do you love? Mom: Richard, stop asking so many questions!"

"""I'm old."" -everyone over the age of 18"

"I call my penis Valyrian Steel.... Because it slays pale, icy bitches and no one really knows how it works."

"I told my dad that I heard the U.S. is sending warships to Yemen.. ""Sounds like some Yemen-aide..."""

"What's brown and rhymes with snoop? ....Dr Dre."

"Why should you never let a non-metal drive a train? Because they're poor conductors! (I know they're called Engineers but cut me some slack, I thought of this in the 9th grade.)"

"So a horse walks into a bar... The bartender says: ""Why the long face?"" The horse, unable to understand English, shits on the floor and walks out of the bar."

"For every chick that's crying about no good guys out there...there's a dude she's ignoring that's good to her."

"One time I didn't masturbate for 11 years... and then I turned 12."