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Joke of the Day

"Pretty similar... Tea is the only difference between meh and meth."

"What is the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson? ""I'm not Willie Nelson."""

"Q: Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? A: To win the no-bell prize."

"Barista: Name? Me: Lotta Sexhaver *wink* *Time passes* Barista: Got a latte for Virgin McLiar"

"What's the difference between an oral and rectal thermometer? Mostly the taste."

"THIS is best joke ever :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVYS0bbB70s&feature=youtu.be"

"Hey everyone look I'm really sorry because I know we JUST buried the casket but I'm 75% sure my wallet fell in there and I was wondering if"

"How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky."

"Say what you want about the Make-a-Wish foundation At least they can work to a deadline"

"The people at U.P.S are assholes. They sent me a message telling me I have a small Package... I mean, what are they doing opening my mail and looking at my pictures anyway?"