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Joke of the Day

"I shoudl not be expected to put my knee on the ground to propose to a woman, the same ground where the animals shit,"

"When I make you breakfast in bed, the least you can say is thank you. I mean what's with all this ""how did you get in my house"" nonsense?"

"My girlfriend says if this post will get 1000 upvotes she'll start to exist :'("

"Mom: You should come camping with us! It's only $100! Me: You want me to pay $100 to sleep outside? Mom: Yeah. Me: I'm getting a new Mom."

"What do Apple and Rose have in common? They both lost jack."

"What's the difference between a Jew and a woman? Idk I'm voting trump"

"Two condoms..... Two condoms pass a gay bar. One says to the other, ""Let's go in and get shit-faced."""

"What's black and never works? DECAF YOU RACIST FUCK"

"The Fish Net Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann? A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl."

"I have a heroine addiction... ...because I can only sleep with a girl if she has saved somebody's life."