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Joke of the Day

"My phone tried to auto-correct ""f*cking"" to ""f*ck king,"" and I was like hell yeah I am."

"Why did Beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left""? Because black people don't have rights."

"Polls show some interesting things Statistics show that 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape"

"Best Christmas ever. We decided to go to the casino for the day. Happy Birthday Jesus. No whammies."

"Nobody is happy. Be like Nobody."

"When you write lyrics as bad as ""I got soul but I'm not a soldier"" it's important to repeat it exactly 10 times in a row so nobody misses it"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool."

"What's a dentists favorite time? Tooth hurty"

"Why don't you prescribe Viagra as an antidepressant? it only makes things harder."

"I wonder if poor kids in Africa dream of a white christmas? Like spending time with your whole family, getting tons of Xboxes and play stations. Heaping servings of food, etc."