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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a group of midget spies and a women's track team? One is a cunning group of runts."

"""My wife worked a 12-hour day and I asked what was for dinner"" I explain to the other homeless people."

"How can you tell if your dog is gay? If he's sucking another dogs dick in the back of a gay dog night club."

"I intend to live forever. So far, so good."

"Why didn't the old man wear old man reading glasses? They were too on-the-nose."

"I'm so fat that every time I log on reddit it is under a heavy load :("

"What do a gynecologist and a pizza guy have in common? They can both smell it but can't eat it."

"What do slinkies and the handicapped have in common? They are the most fun when pushed down a flight of stairs."

"I love trigger warnings... They help victims of abuse know what's ahead, and they help me spot Trump supporters."

"Republicans help the poor during the holidays by sending 50 one buck at a time to panhandlers on the street."