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Joke of the Day

"GENIE: you have three wishes. ME: sweet, I wish for pie. GENIE: okay, whatever, you have 3.14 wishes."

"MISSED CONNECTION: You were ""a woman"" & I am ""lonely."""

"What do you get when you visit the dentist with a dollar? Buck-teeth!"

"Once you go black... ..you become a single mother. ^^^sorry"

"Curiosity got sent to mars as punishment. As punishment for killing Schrodinger's cat."

"Parents: Your room is a mess. Me: You really need to see my life."

"Finger wager why do women like the oldest men as their gynecologist. (visualize) uncontrollable shaky finger."

"What was the first treacherous thing said? Adam you gotta try this!"

"A man goes to Macy's to buy a sweater. He swipes his card but it didn't register. The cashier asks him to try his card again and the man replies, ""I already did and it fits great!"""

"A classic Tommy Cooper gag ''I said to the Gym instructor ""Can you teach me to do the splits?'' He said, ''How flexible are you?'' I said, ''I can't make Tuesdays'', was fifth."