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Joke of the Day
"Life is like a box of chocolates It doesn't last long for fat people"
Next Joke
"My wife said i was being immature, so i told her to get the fuck out of my fort."
"How do you figure out that your girlfriend is getting too fat? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes."
"I'm trying to teach my toddler how to headbang but he's pissed because he wants a bottle. I told him to save that anger for the mosh pit."
"Why don't you tell us what's really wrong, loud sneezers?"
"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Creepy. ""Creepy who?"" This is a nice bedroom you have."
"Xmas Russian Roulette: 1. Sit next to parents. 2. Type any letter into browser on your laptop. 3. Go to the website it auto completes to."
"person: what is your dog's name me: he won't say"
"A really drunk guy... A really drunk guy gets into a taxi and says ""Heeeyy cab guy, can I leave the pizza and the beer in the front seat?"" ""yeah no problem"" -BHLUAGHH-"
"Q: Why does the letter A look like a flower? A: Because Bs like flowers."