44262

Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Michael Phelps could finish a race."

"What did one earthquake say to the other? .... .... Was that your fault or mine?"

"I just successfully robbed a bank! Now what to do with all this sperm..."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's odd."

"It still makes me sad to think there are people out there who have a favorite Kardashian."

"Someone told me Canada had no territories... I was having Nunavut."

"A Blonde texts her friend A blonde texts her friend and asks ""what does IDK stand for?"" The friend replies ""I don't know"" The blonde texts back ""shit, no one seems to know"""

"I just killed a pizza boy and now I have to kill another one It's the domino effect"

"I like that in The Little Mermaid, Ariel & King Triton wouldn't violate a contractual obligation, but they murdered Ursula with a ship."

"The south was reported to have more Ashley Madison users than any other region in the U.S. I guess family isn't always enough."