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Joke of the Day

"""I've never flown before said the nervous old lady to the pilot. ""You will bring me down safely won't you? ""All I can say ma'am"" said the pilot ""is that I've never left anyone up there yet!"""

"I started a band with my dog. He barks while I eat Cheetos. It's indie, you wouldn't get it."

"The existence of Hogwarts has never been proven false..."

"have you heard of the new movie ""Constipation""? that's because it hasn't come out yet! XD"

"What do you call someone that lives next a horse? Their neighbor"

"My girlfriend doesn't like it when I ask her to blow cool air on me She is not a fan."

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey player? A hockey player takes a shower after three periods."

"Boss: Got good news & bad news. Me: Ya? Him: I'm leaving for another job. Me: Ok..Whats the bad news? Him: .. Me: You planning to come back?"

"Nowadays, French fries are made from potatoes. What did they used to be made from before the 1960s? Potatoes"

"Bill Cosby's new t.v. show premier's next month, ""Rape Victims Say the Darndest Things!"""