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Joke of the Day

"Blonde: Doctor, it hurts everywhere I touch. Doctor: You have a broken finger."

"I figured out why Bono got in all that tax trouble. He got double U2s."

"What do you call a black guy flying a plane? a pilot, you racist."

"Where do the Russian separatists go to complain about their lives? Crimea River"

"How many 9GAGers does it take to change a lightbulb? Exactly the same amount as the Redditors on /r/AdviceAnimals and /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu ."

"I got my kid a puppy as a present, but it died before Christmas... FML, now I'm stuck taking care of a puppy. Edit: For those worried about the kid, it's ok. He was an adopted ginger, so no big deal."

"The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral."

"My wife thinks our sex life is boring and I get distracted easily.......... Well I Better get back to it...."

"How does a muslim man close a door? Islams it!"

"""Sir, the UAV strike bombing missed the target."" ""Were we at least close?"" ""Not even remotely."""