43583

Joke of the Day

"Three New Yorkers are sitting at a bar... I only know this because they won't shut the fuck up about being from New York."

"I asked a female moderator why I couldn't post images on r/jokes... ""I have a boyfriend!"""

"What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."

"How did Harry get it in Ron's sweet Diagon Alley? A lubricantation."

"Dear women: we don't give a shit about eyebrows. Love, men."

"[PUN]I think I saw a beautiful juniper. Maybe it's fir... or maybe it's maple-ine."

"Next time at a public swimming pool just stop, look around & ask yourself: ""Is there anyone here that I would want to take a bath with?"""

"Mother: ""Why are you home from school so early?"" Son: ""I was the only one who could answer a question."" Mother: ""Oh really? What was the question? Son: ""Who threw the eraser at the principal?"""

"The cow goes moo, the sheep goes baa, the cat goes meow... ...the dog goes Ed...Ward."

"Why don't amateur pornstars use big words? Because they're all laymen."