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Joke of the Day

"I ate peanut butter and got an allergic reaction. I got sued."

"Protip: If you're walking in your office taking deep breaths because someone made popcorn, don't forget to stop as you enter the restroom."

"Why did the man throw his watch out the window? He wanted to see time fly!"

"What's the best/worst dirty joke you know? In honor of the recent joke trends I ask you what is the dirtiest joke you know?"

"How do you guys feel about that new drug-resistant superbug? It makes me sick."

"If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, no question, I would want to be alive."

"'I'm sorry' and 'my bad' are frequently used interchangeably... ... but never at a funeral."

"4-year-old: Are hot dogs made from real dogs? Me: Would you eat them if they were? 4: No! Me: 4: Unless I had ketchup."

"She called and said she didn't have anywhere else to go, so I agreed with her."

"A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation."