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Joke of the Day
"Why did the plumber kill himself? He was sewericidal."
Next Joke
"I tried out for the part of Jesus in my school play.... I think I nailed it"
"Me: I bet you die before you figure out how to text me back. *3 years later* Grandma: Fuck you bitch. Say bye to your inheritance"
"This is my ""go to"" dirty joke ...always What did one tampon say to the other..... nothing, they are both stuck up cunts. ba dum tiss"
"[orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit"
"Me: I weigh 10x more than the cat and yet she trusts me completely. So sweet. You: Me: You: It's a lot more than 10x. Me: Don't ruin this."
"Had to talk with my son about masturbation today...I explained that it is natural, and he should probably knock before he comes into my room from now on."
"Two bloody tampons pass you in the street. Which one says hello first? Neither, they're both stuck up cunts."
"*pets your eyebrows* there, there caterpillar; everything will be ok"
"What would be a terrible name for a new beer? Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer? A: ""Mondays""...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays..."