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Joke of the Day

"Friends that are with you during your darkest times probably didn't pay their electric bill either."

"Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across America join together to raise the country's obesity statistics."

"They say you are what you eat... I guess that makes me human"

"Eventually you're going to achieve self awareness in a padded cell, staring at your palm, realizing twitter was just all your personalities"

"Why did the Chicken cross the Basketball Court? Because he heard the Ref was Blowing Fowls."

"If a girl asks if you think she's fat, say yes. She'll value your honesty. Day 47: I didn't even know we had a basement. Help. You can only regurgitate food and water for so long."

"The Mexican Magician A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, ""uno, dos..."" *POOF* The magician vanished without a tres."

"Aren't you too fat to be this rude?"

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"Confession: I have dipped cheese into softer cheese."