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Joke of the Day
"Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk!"
Next Joke
 
"[sexting] HER: ok well i think we're done here lol ME: it's bc i used 'betwixt' isn't it? [typing ellipses for a solid minute] HER: yes"
"I wore a leather jacket into a vegan restaurant and now I'm hiding in the bathroom."
"What does gay rooster say? Sev-sev-seveeeeen."
"Meteorologists always have their heads in the clouds But gastroenterologists take shit seriously"
"congrats Seahawks on winning the super bowl from all of here in the 3rd world countries"
"I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
"My computer crashed and now all the other computers have slowed down so they can see what's happening."
"Whats brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUUuU^nnnnnnnggggg^nnnnggg^nnnggg^nnnggg"
"Mrs.Potato seemed genuinely upset that her husband was missing, but the smell of French fries in her kitchen made the detectives suspicious."