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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""Sorry, it's going to take me a while to get hard, I got laid last night."""

"Her: Your c**k is small Me: An RV is big until you park it in the Grand Canyon."

"The first person who started winking at others was probably the creepiest human ever."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car in front of an abortion clinic? Going in to ask for a coat hanger"

"Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail."

"I lost my virginity when I was in high school, which was awesome... however I was home schooled."

"The movie Speed, except this bus driver apparently thinks we'll blow up if he goes over 15 mph."

"Irreplaceable - Beyonce. I can have another you by tomorrow."

"How can you judge how good the orgasm was? From the amount of time it takes you to press Alt-F4 afterwards."

"If optimus prime was a pokemon, what would his most used attacks be? Transform and rollout. (When you tell this to people wait and see if they guess it)"