215801

Joke of the Day

"I lost my virginity when I was in high school, which was awesome... however I was home schooled."

"You know you spend too much time with your kids when there's Sesame Street music in your head while mentally undressing women."

"If you don't have a condom, put a stone in your shoe.. ...it'll make you limp."

"How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles."

"John: Hey Jude... Paul: Don't make it bad George: Take a sad song... Ringo: So weird how coffee is yummy hot or cold but gross in-between"

"Its all shits and giggles. Until someone giggles and shits."

"The owner of the Regal movie theatre chain has died. Services will be held Tuesday at 1:00, 4:15, 7:30 & 10:30."

"Why do hipsters only use the microwave? Because they don't like conventional ovens."

"in hindsight, ms. frizzle taking a bus of children inside of an unsuspecting person was not ok. one of those rascals peed in his body."

"*wears shoulder pads for the angel and devil on my shoulders *pimps their ride"