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Joke of the Day

"HEY. Our ancestors didn't eat brunch. They ate rocks. And fought dinosaurs. Ever heard of fire? They INVENTED it. Enjoy your Bloody Mary."

"A vampire stopped coming to my nightly poker games. All I said was that he made too many mistakes..."

"I wish dreams were like Chatroulette and you could just click ""Next"" when you see a guy in a Mickey Mouse costume jerking off."

"Why there isnt Windows 9? Because 9 looks like dead fat man (Bill Gates)."

"Just changed my Facebook name to 'No one' So when I see stupid posts I can click like and it will say 'No one likes this'"

"What's Batman's favorite food? Ba-na-na-na-na-na-na-na"

"I am still paying... A little boy asked his father, ""Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"" Father replied, ""I don't know son, I'm still paying."""

"If she doesn't have a new hair style by the time you're done, you're doing it wrong."

"Why did the young soldier go off searching for a wounded prostitute? A cowboy told him there was a hoedown."

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."