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Joke of the Day
"Masturbation is great. - I know that from first hand experience."
Next Joke
"When my husband goes outside to investigate a strange noise, how long do I have to wait before un-pausing the show we were watching?"
"5yo: I can't wear those socks today. They say Wednesday. Me: If anyone notices, tell them you're here from the future to save the world."
"Why Math is like Sex?"
"The janitor at my gym sees me naked more often than my wife does. And he's a more attentive lover."
"Cashier: ""Sir, the toilet paper you're buying goes on sale tomorrow."" ""COOL, I'LL CHECK WITH MY FAMILY TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD IT IN."""
"61% of internet traffic is from bots... ...the other 39% is Reddit users manically hitting refresh to check their upvotes on new posts"
"What do you call a queer redneck? A confederate fag."
"I am a unicorn hunter You don't see any unicorns around do you?"
"Knowing its International Women's Day is the only thing I know about women."