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Joke of the Day

"I like my women like I like my condoms. Wrapped around my dick and full of my semen."

"What's the difference between Bernie Sanders and a free lunch? Bernie Sanders exists."

"Toyota's solution for sticky gas pedal - shorten driver's right leg"

"I was gonna do a tweet about Albert Einstein's IQ but I couldn't get it under 140."

"*at hostage negotiation class Prof: Let's go around and say why we're here Man: I joined the NYPD Woman: I'm in the FBI Me: I have a toddler"

"funniest joke i have heard in a while ""what is the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?"" One shucks between fits"

"Just out of curiosity, does anyone here use RES? Because I'm really wishing that they'd changed the 'Hide Child Comments' button for the Chris Hansen AMA."

"""Bartender, see that brunette at the end of the bar? I'd like you to bring her a slice of your finest ham."""

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two! But don't ask me how they got inside there."

"Trump and a mate were getting drinks at a bar..... After a few drinks..... Trump: What is the useless skin around a woman's pussy? Mate: I have no idea. Trump (with a smirk): The rest of the woman!"