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Joke of the Day

"*at hostage negotiation class Prof: Let's go around and say why we're here Man: I joined the NYPD Woman: I'm in the FBI Me: I have a toddler"

"With grape soda comes grape responsibility."

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. (heard this somewhere)"

"If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer Joined Forces They would become alloys"

"What did Jesus become after they nailed him to the cross? Holey."

"North Korean leader Kim Jong-un got married. Proving there's someone for every un."

"What do you call a classical composer's butthole after a night of bad Mexican food? Taco Bell's Cannon"

"WAy back in the day Canada was originally called CND So America calls CND and asks them to spell it so they know what to write on their maps. The guy from CND replies, ""C eh, N eh, D eh."""

"Why are Trump supporters *not* Nazis? When Nazis demanded your papers, they said ""please."""

"I really can't believe the price some women pay for sunglasses. I'm starting to think it'd be cheaper to get the kitchen window tinted."