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Joke of the Day

"My iPhone just autocorrected the word nigga to NIGGA, like whoa iPhone. You can't just go around yelling the N word. Jesus."

"Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs."

"Since I live my financial life under water I decided to put a ""Beware of sharks"" sign in my front yard."

"What's the difference between snowmen and snow women? Snow balls. Ha"

"what's a political campaign we can all get behind? gay rights"

"Why did the dog sit in the front seat of the car? Because the car had a sun ""woof""! Yes, I made this up myself. Yes, I have no friends."

"Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her."

"What did the grape say when it got trodden on? Nothing, it just let out a little whine."

"Where is Hitler's bathroom? Down the hall and to the third REICH!"

"I never learnt the meaning of the word truancy... ...I wasn't at school that day."