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Joke of the Day

"Why do authors subtitle their books, ""A Novel"". Did someone look at their book one day and say ""I thought this was a sandwich?"""

"So, I was working on my truck today.. And the brake cleaner started to get me high I forgot what I was doing. So, I was working on my truck today..."

"Think most people would be both disappointed and relieved if they realized just how little other people care what they do."

"JUST ONCE MORE! PLEEEEEEASE? I PROMISE THIS WILL BE THE LAST TIME! LET ME DO IT AND I'LL NEVER ASK AGAIN! -Liam Neeson pitching ""Taken 3"""

"My crush's ex-boyfriend was into wearing diapers I asked her best friend what she likes in a guy. She said, ""Depends..."""

"Whats the diff between EROTIC and KINKY? EROTIC is when you use a feather. KINKY is when you use the whole chicken."

"TIL: Studies have shown that people who annually experiance more birthdays tend to live longer. 'The more you know'"

"Russian Nursery Rhyme The incy wincy conrade Was tugging at his chain About rights of workers He complain The secret police Am get order to restrain And the incy wincy comrade was never seen again"

"I have an eidolon memory. It's the same as an eidetic memory, but I'm also dyslexic."

"i tried to ask a girl out today but i messed up my words and accidentally summoned a demon. anyway, whats a good first date for a demon"