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Joke of the Day

"If Apple made a car... Would it have Windows?"

"Had no idea why my salad was $175, 'til the waiter explained that they only use Beets by Dre."

"What do you call a person who looks at a glass half-empty? An Alcoholic."

"A Japanese man wished to join the knights of England. The recruitment official turned him away, however, stating that there can not be any chinks in their knights' armor."

"teacher: are u a visual thinker, auditory thinker, or kinesthetic thinker me: oh im not a thinker"

"If I had a dollar for everyone I work with who's dumber than me, I'd have $11 cause I work for a small company."

"I would put a web cam in my shower to make extra money, but I would hate having to only sing public domain songs."

"What's the hardest part about roller-skating? Telling your parents you're gay."

"I root against my college football team. That place put me $80,000 in debt. It'd be like rooting for the bank that holds your mortgage."

"When I told my friends that I'm writing jokes for a living... ...they laughed at me, wait 'till they hear one of my jokes on tv, they won't be laughing then!"