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Joke of the Day
"Why did the golfer wear two pants? He got a hole in one"
Next Joke
"[audition for a vampire tv show] ME: as u can see in my headshots, i'm a vampire CASTING DIRECTOR: theres no one in these photos ME: exactly"
"How can you tell a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested."
"Have you heard of the musical condoms? They started a rubber band."
"My friend called me cheesy I said ""don't Brie so mad, its all Goud-a"""
"A feminist, a fat person and a Hitler walk into a bar... Feminism is bad."
"What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuckup cunts"
"If you ever see anyone doing a crossword... ...tap them on the shoulder and whisper ""7 up is lemonade""."
"Accidentally wore a red shirt and khaki pants to Target today... Long story short, I think I got promoted to Assistant Manager."
"Millions of years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth but like all great empires they were eventually brought down by corruption and voter fatigue"