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Joke of the Day

"If you ever see anyone doing a crossword... ...tap them on the shoulder and whisper ""7 up is lemonade""."

"Prison seems to have it all. Free food, free housing, free sex."

"The whole ""bad boy"" thing is fun until you have kids with him. Ooh you drank away the diaper money? That's soooo hot"

"Lesson of the day: NEVER EVER make fun of an Asian woman on her period. On a related note: I got stabbed with a chopstick."

"Three bloody tampons are walking down the street. Which one talks to you first? None of them because they are stuck up cunts."

"Why did the man who robbed the liquor store with a boomerang get caught? Because he couldn't throw away the evidence"

"Why do they thank me in the cafeteria when I pay for my food like I had a choice? Just tell me ""enjoy the diarrhea"" and I'll move along."

"I shot a bIack teenager the other day and got arrested for impersonating a police officer."

"I would like to think money won't change me, but I won $5 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and immediately bought name brand aluminum foil."

"Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don't have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire."