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Joke of the Day

"New law restricts lobbyists to the lobby. Citizen victory! Writing laws a bit less convenient! The lobby lobby, however, has won the day."

"People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am"

"Did you hear about the newlyweds who mixed up the lube and window putty? All their windows fell out"

"What do you call a cow that gives no milk? An udder failure."

"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without some other guy's dick in it."

"Two nuns are discussing their love lives.. when one nun asks the other, ""So, do you ever start smoking after sex?"" The other nun replies, ""I don't know, I've never looked."""

"What is a gay orc's favorite gay bar to go to? MANFLESH."

"I've got a new job crushing coke cans. Its soda pressing."

"What did one wall say to the other? Meet me in the corner!"

"what's green and floats? a leaf"