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Joke of the Day

"I hate it when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... Come on guys, I don't have 2021 vision! Oh wait...."

"Plunging... ...is like performing CPR on your toilet."

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"What do you do when you see an upside down dolphin? You flipper!"

"A girl grabbed my cock and said, ""Wow! Your dick wouldn't make a very good clock."" ""Why?"" I asked, intrigued. ""Because I'd struggle to get a second hand on it,"" she replied."

"Baby seal So, a baby seal walks into a club... ... ..."

"A horse walks into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hey!"" The horse replies, ""you read my mind!"""

"What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma? When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head."

"Woman: Guys who can't make me orgasm really rub me the wrong way."

"Bored, so I'm going to find a kid that looks like me and tell her I'm her from the future."