41675

Joke of the Day

"Sometimes when I throw up I like to pretend the toilet is a baby bird and you're not even reading this anymore are you."

"I'm sick of people blaming the Internet when someone gets killed. Watch the History Channel. Hitler didn't find the Jews on craigslist."

"Where do Chinese people find work? On ChinkedIn of course. (I know the pun is racist but I had to share. Sorry.)"

"Why planes are faster than car and buses? Because they are almost never **tired**."

"ME: *robbing bank* More like, I'm BANKing on you not tripping the alarm! Haha! TELLER: Haha! COPS: *tackling me from behind* Haha!"

"What does a lesbian couple do for fun while they're having their periods? Fingerpaint!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Ari ! Ari who ? Ari-S-P-E-C-T !"

"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"Why is it so cheap to buy 12 rhombuses? Because they're a diamond dozen"

"What was Abraham Lincoln's seating preference? Not John Wilkes Booth!"