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Joke of the Day
"None of the women liked Richard William Soft He's Dick Willy Soft"
Next Joke
"I have a habit... I have a habit of flipping around letters in a word. You say pencil, I say cenpil. You say banana, I say nababa. You say popcorn, I shut up."
"Q: Why did the Davidians commit suicide? A: They were trying to keep up with the Joneses."
"Q: What did King Kong say when he saw the Statue of Liberty? A: Are you my mother?"
"What does 90 year old pussy taste like? .....Depends."
"I use proper syntax and punctuation on all of my tweets, unless I am in danger of exceeding the 140 character limit... & then u no how it b"
"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing... they're both stuck up bitches."
"My views are my own, although they're heavily based on some stuff Jon Stewart said on TV last night, and the general vibe of the internet."
"""Mom, I'm an adult. There's nothing left for you to show me."" (*folds a fitted sheet*) ""TEACH ME YOUR SORCERY, LINEN WIZARD"""
"[Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg"