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Joke of the Day
"BABY DRINK Q: How do you make a baby drink? A: Stick it in the blender."
Next Joke
"I look forward to using the phrase ""I'm gonna fuck you til you're pregnant!"" in bed when we decide to have kids."
"How does a man who has just had his legs cut off at the ankles feel? Defeated"
"What lurks in the dark, has wings and sucks blood? The new Always Ultra."
"Never trust trees. They're shady."
"Sign in a store window during a blizzard ""Got frostbite? Fingerless gloves, half off!"""
"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe"
"Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it."
"Where there is a will, there is usually a death."
"So my wife said to me, ""I swear, it's like all men share one brain"" I wanted to think of a clever comeback, but it wasn't my turn to use the brain"