41309

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a baby and A goat? When my goat died, I couldn't bring myself to eat it."

"*date* GIRL: I love hot tubs. Do you love hot tubs? LOBSTER: That's like the third time you've asked me that."

"Why do mice have a hole in their bottoms? Because otherwise they would be unable to track movement and move the cursor in the computer screen."

"Want to have a haircut like Jesus? Just ask for the ""What Would Jesus 'Do!"""

"My father's Texas joke A Texan gets pulled over for speeding. The officer says, ""You got an ID?"" The Texan says, ""... about what?"""

"What would Jesus do? Today, take Mary out to Olive Garden."

"My wife left a note on the fridge that said ""This isn't working I'm going to my mom's."" I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about."

"Sorry! Just saw these texts now! Hope your birthday party, Christmas and wedding were great!"

"I buy a lot of ringtones for someone who hasn't answered a phone call since 2008."

"It took Michelle Obama two presidencies to get kids outside... and Nintendo two days."