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Joke of the Day

"Ran into my ex the other day Then I put it in reverse. Then I ran her over."

"My girlfriend asked me if I could have a threesome, which of her friends I would choose... I SHOULD NEVER HAVE NAMED 2 FRIENDS!"

"What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? ""Where is my tractor?"""

"My wife is still mad at me for that 20 minute blank stare I did when she asked me what I was thankful for on Thanksgiving day."

"You seem like the type of person I might give my heart to, but as nervously as I'd be watching a drunk holding a newborn."

"Q: How many UPM's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None! If you'd just make it a day exterior we wouldn't be screwing around with all these damn light bulbs!"""

"Out of 10 puns chosen at random, how many actually made people laugh? No pun in ten did."

"New headphones model about to hit stores. Its called beats by Chris Brown."

"What is big black and long. The lines at KFC"

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""