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Joke of the Day
"If I had a nickel for every time I had sex... ... I'd be a very cheap hooker."
Next Joke
"Your love life"
"I bet Yoda was pretty hot before he turned into an old Asian lady."
"What did the little mountain say to the big mountain? ""Hi, Cliff """
"*approaches man sitting at the bar Me: would you like to dance Him: yeah! Me: that's great because I need to sit down"
"Which country has the nicest children? Germany. German children are kinder."
"Slow down in those corduroy pants. You'll ignite a bush fire."
"Looks like I'm going to need to have the ""drug talk"" with my daughter because this ecstasy she sold me is NOT working."
"*Wakes up in Superman's body* Me: Holy crap! I'm finally a hero! *Uses heat vision to re-heat last night's pizza & puts on Netflix*"
"Gunman: Put ur hands in the air. Now wave them like you just don't care. YOU STILL CARE [shoves gun in guys mouth] SHOW SOME UTTER DISREGARD"