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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath tub. One has hope in her soul, while the other has soap in her hole."

"What did the 2 tampons say to each other? Nothing because they were both stuck up cunts."

"I thought I caught a snorlax on pokemon go turns out i was on tinder"

"Jeopardy gum If Jeopardy! champion Arthur Chu started a candy company, the gum would have a locomotive on the wrapper, and would be called - get this - Chu Chew!"

"Are you feeling cold right now? Just stand in the corner to warm up, they are usually 90 degrees."

"7: Its the last week of school so we don't have to go. Can I stay home? Me: Ha! Nice try, kid. Teacher: Its true. Me: Ha! NICE TRY, TEACHER."

"July 4th is Independence day. And the day Chuck Norris was born. Coincidence? i think not."

"They won't give me insurance on my phones anymore, but yet they don't make phones that survive being thrown against walls? It's nonsense..."

"How do you know a drummer is at your door? The knock speeds up."

"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."