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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bath tub. One has hope in her soul, while the other has soap in her hole."

"As an adult, I have to do some lame things like pay bills & have responsibilities. But I can also eat ice cream for dinner."

"What would Marilyn Monroe be doing if she were alive today? Clawing at the inside of her coffin."

"""How do you speak such good English?"" ""I dunno 200 years of colonialism and eurocentric education, how do you know so little history?"""

"i throw my homework in the air sometimes, saying ayyyo, ill take a zerroo."

"[interview] What's your greatest weakness? ME: Probably avoiding tough questions Can you elaborate on that? ME: Oh hey look at the time!"

"Q: Why is the blonde's brain the size of a pea in the morning? A: It swells at night."

"What do an elephant and an apricot have in common? They're both grey.....................................well except for the apricot."

"I don't regret burning bridges. I regret that some people weren't on those bridges when I burned them."

"People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses."