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Joke of the Day
"Your face on Facebook and twitter : ( `) . In real life : ( () )"
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"[Arkham Asylum] GUARD 1: that guy's CRAZY *gestures to Joker's cell* JOKER: *using Bing instead of Google* GUARD 2: *whispers* holy shit"
"I caught a man masturbating in my closet. Did not see that cumming."
"Hubby: This dinner is not gonna make itself!!!!! And that ladies and Gentleman is how I starred on ""COPS"""
"What's the difference between a Ferrari and a box of dead babies ? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."
"(Restaurant joke) What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip."
"The year is 3426, all of humanity is extinct. Supernatural is somehow still on every week with new episodes."
"For most people, when you lose your ""khakis"" you lost your pants. When you're from Boston and lose your ""khakis"" you can't start your car."
"Who would you save first? Wife asks her husband: Honey, If a lion attacks my mother and I, Who would you save first? Husband: Well, the lion!"
"Why did the scale decide that the scam artists were heavier than the novels? Because the cons outweighed the prose."