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Joke of the Day

"Typical day Just saw Denzel Washington on the street and said ""Hey Denzel! Can I get a picture with you?"" And he's all like ""I'm not Denzel you racist piece of shit."" Classic Denzel."

"First Cannibal: ""Have you seen the dentist?"" Second Cannibal: ""Yes he filled my teeth at dinner time."""

"Just saw the first duckface of Spring."

"Wife walked into the bedroom. ""What the hell are you doing here in my white and gold dress?"" ""No honey, it s not what it looks like."""

"How do you feed a skyscraper? ""Here comes the aeroplane!"""

"Hey girl, you smell like you're going to give me the wrong number."

"What was so great about being a black jew? They already thought you were burnt"

"She's so wrinkled, her mother was a Shar Pei."

"Hear about that Saudi girl? Sunnibody try to kill her, but Shiite"

"Today I was woken up by a blowjob. I hope I'll never fall asleep in the train with my mouth open again."